Barrel of Monkeys
by Seggy
Summary: When one animal instrumental in making a winning combo is replaced by another much like the one left behind, the result usually isn't something as effective as what was there originally. But it can be.


"Stupid bear, hosting poker night in middle of stupid storm," grumbled a silhouette as it stepped into a puddle in the ground. His companion flinched at the thunder rumbling overhead, before continuing to carelessly stroll through water and mud. "Dark clouds and rain make it much harder to find home."

The more lackadaisical figure walked over a hill of upturned earth, after the other had stumbled into it. "I don't see what the problem is."

"Of course you can't!"

"I'm just saying, visibility isn't _that_ bad today."

"Sunshine or snow is all the same to blind mole. Can't see a thing either way," the grumpy figure sighed.

The mole frowned. Blinking behind his large spectacles, he mulled over the words, trying to find a possible insult within.

The other noticed a beacon of light in the distance as the land came level on an intersection of the road. He peered downhill at a small hut at the very end of the valley.

"Finally! Bear's home!" He called out, running towards it. His companion made to follow, before a cry rang through the night.

The mole looked around in surprise, and began waddling to and keep up as he noticed the other hadn't been moved by the sound. "Was that...?"

"Lab assistant never give up," the taller one noted, slowing his run as they came under the light of Banjo's hut. Spiral Mountain seemed taller than ever behind them as the smaller one caught up. "Mumbo admire that."

Bottles started, clearly not expecting the last comment. "Really?"

"Yes. But never put self in lab assistant's place. Mumbo quite handsome. Would never give that up." He ran a hand under his smooth chin.

Bottles leaned close as Mumbo reached to knock on the door. He squinted. "I guess, the skull is quite dashing."

The Shaman nodded confidently, staring at the door. After a moment, it opened, and they blinked as they were bathed in light.

Banjo the Bear waved, making way for the two to enter his cramped home. It was a cozy affair, with a small table in the middle of the one-room residence, a bed in a corner, and a densely-furnished kitchen opposite to it.

Shaking the water off of himself, Bottles wandered past the large bear and took a seat at the table. Mumbo was slower on the uptake, but sat before Banjo had closed the door and returned to the table.

Cards were passed out, and the owner of the house stood briefly to get the screaming teapot from the stove.

Soon, at the bear's prompt, the fourth player looked down at his cards. Bottles then thought it prudent to address the issue of the 800lb gorilla in the room.

"What happened to Kazooie?" A grunt from the fourth player.

"She's migrating this year," Banjo responded simply.

"Shouldn't they do it every winter?"

"And what has featherface ever done that is normal for birds?" Mumbo peered at Bottles with half-lidded eyes, before turning them onto the table's other occupant. "Who is big ape?"

Banjo eyed him strangely, before gesturing at a portrait near his bed. "Haven't you ever seen that picture?"

The Shaman's eyes flickered between the table's occupant and the picture on the wall. "Weird bear, why you have picture of monkey poker buddy?"

Banjo sighed. "He's Donkey Kong. We used to be dorm mates back in college." The ape grunted, nodding. "He's hanging out here for now, because he got tired of all the stuff happening in his home island."

Mumbo nodded, and the game went on. After a few rounds- most of which Donkey Kong won, garnering a grumbled "liked stupid bird better. Monkey must be cheating somehow" from the Shaman- Bottles wondered about something he'd been told.

"You went to college?" The three others turned towards him. "Banjo, I mean. Donkey, too?"

Donkey Kong grunted in annoyance. "Call him D.K, or his full name," Banjo suggested.

"D.K.? Sounds like pusher." Mumbo shook his head. "Mumbo not believe dumb bear or monkey ever went to college. Monkey can't even speak."

Banjo just shrugged. "He's more of a writer, really."

Bottles leaned forward curiously. "Really? I'm a writer! What did D.K. write about?"

The gorilla shrugged, waving his cards around vaguely. Banjo filled in for him. "We worked together a lot, really. He usually helped me with my papers in-" he was interrupted by a yelp from Bottles, as the hut shook.

"Stop rocking the table... you're making me sick!" The mole complained, lurching back and forth. His the furniture within the house jumped slightly from the tremors, and the table slowly rotate clockwise in the spot.

Mumbo seemed just as shaken, quite literally. "Mumbo not rock table! Whole house shake lots!" He fell over as one of the table's legs bumped into him, making him jump.

Donkey Kong didn't seem very bothered, but groaned as his tea spilled. Banjo, trying to hold his own drink still, gave his suggestion.

"Perhaps one of us should go outside and take a look?" For that, he received three incredulous stares. "Or we could try to keep the house from falling over," he tried again.

"What about ya try to keep _me_ from fallin over? Oi, hick! Hold my bowl!" The goldfish sounded slightly aggravated about the whole thing, and glared at Donkey Kong until the gorilla reached over to pick up his bowl. "Good boy."

After that, they were all silent until the shaking stopped. The fish with the Brooklyn accent sighed in relief. "Good, now put me back. Your body heat is making my bowl way too warm for my liking."

"Sure was noisy," Banjo mused. "Might as well take a look. D.K.?" The ape stared at him for a moment. "No? Okay."

"I'd go, but it's really dark outside," Bottles lamented.

"Four-eyes wouldn't be seeing less than usual." Mumbo stood up with a grunt. "Mumbo much brave! Magic wand make light, too, so Mumbo not have to worry about dark." He pulled his stick out of his satchel, holding it up triumphantly.

He strolled out the door, tapping his wand on the door on his way out.

The immediate area outside remained dark for a few seconds, and they could hear the Shaman's cry of surprise, then of anger. A few loud smacks and curses later, a flickering light could be seen through the windows.

D.K. scrutinized the other occupants of the room in Mumbo's absence. Bottles shook, looking down at his cards as the goldfish swam around his bowl to cool the water with circulation. Slowly, he reached for the Shaman's chips.

The gorilla was caught in the act at the worst possible moment, as Banjo looked up from his tea just in time to see his old classmate stretched over the table, one large hand wrapping around a stack of chips. The bear eyed him disdainfully.

They were frozen in that position for a moment, before D.K. slowly dragged it over to his end of the table. Banjo sighed.

A roar of triumph rang through the valley, and they were drawn from the ape's antics. "Was that Klungo?"

Bottles gasped. "He sounded... happy! That can't be good."

Banjo held a hand up. "Don't be so fatalistic. Maybe he found a new job." The two others stared at him for a moment, before he sighed. "Maybe it really _is_ a bad thing, though."

How bad it really was, they only noticed as Banjo stood up, bent on finding Mumbo outside. Instead, the Shaman crashed through the door, panting. Bright lights flashed outside, and amongst them and lightning they could see an enormous shape looming ever closer to the hut.

"Everyone... must run!" he panted. "Quick, Grunty coming..." He looked back at the road with wide eyes. A ghastly skeletal figure stood in the middle of it, now, easily-recognizable.

Grunty cackled, calling for their deaths with rhymes they could (thankfully) not hear beyond the rain and the crackling of the mass of energy above her head. Banjo, D.K. and Mumbo ran for cover within the house, while Bottles stood up in a daze.

"Grunty? Where?" The mole looked around in panic, not noticing the reasonably-far-away witch. The last thing he didn't see was the mass of magic tearing through Banjo's doorway and into the desk he stood behind. 

-I-

The rain had receded, along with the darkness and Grunty. She had gone away in a large vehicle fitted with a drill at the front, leaving behind a trail of destruction topped by large tracks. They would later prove invaluable to following her, but at the moment, there were other concerns in mind.

Banjo tumbled over in the trash can he'd been hiding in, coming out along with the water that had entered it during the storm. At his calling, Mumbo and D.K worked on doing likewise. Eventually, as they tried to pull D.K out of his hiding spot, the Shaman and bear engaged in a conversation.

"Grunty's back," Banjo lamented.

"Mumbo not believe evil witch could return. But curious about how she got out. Klungo not leave rock for two years. And not have cell phone for call other dumb witches."

"So what now?"

They paused for a beat, before focusing on D.K while pulling. With a grunt, they got the large ape out, and patted themselves off. They moved towards the road leading to Banjo's hut as their simian companion angrily shook himself dry.

"Mumbo not know. Grunty back. Maybe should stop her." He paused, before looking back at Banjo and shrugging.

"She blew up my house," noted Banjo. The three stood in front of his burnt-out hut awkwardly.

Something stirred inside, and they all leaned forward curiously. Slowly, a shape shambled out of the ruined home, covered in soot and ash. Although blinded by the mass of blackness covering its entire body, it still walked expertly.

"Mole is alive." Mumbo sounded impressed. "Survived Grunty's attack in the face. Takes much guts." Said mole halted near them, before collapsing face-first. "Oh. Mumbo take it back."

"Bottles?"

The mole was quiet, before a glowing form rose out from his back. Bottles' ghost floated atop his body for a moment, looking around in confusion. It spoke, but no words came out of its moving mouth. Meanwhile, D.K

"Dead," Mumbo sighed. "Mole was good father. Sucker too, easy to beat in poker." His mourning done, he turned around. "Well, must go back to hut. Grunty probably bring minions too. Must set up security system." He started setting out to leave Spiral Mountain, while Banjo and D.K shared a look.

Ghost Bottles was frantically pointing back at the hut.

Banjo, getting an idea, called him back. "Mumbo! Grunty burned the house. The money we all bet was in there..."

The Shaman turned back, his mouth open. He closed it and opened it a few times, as if trying to form a statement, before going for a scream of rage.

"Grunty must _pay._ Bear must beat ugly witch once more. Mumbo plan to help anyway, but she wreck house and kill Bottles. She must pay."

Banjo blinked. "I... how will I beat Grunty? Kazooie is away, and most of our moves relied on her."

D.K grunted in support, gathering their attention. He slammed his fists into his chest.

Mumbo blinked slowly. "Monkey help bear. Big, fast, strong too." His eyes widened, and he grinned. "Yes. Mumbo has idea. Monkey and bear, meet Mumbo in Mumbo's hut. Have solution. Sure dumb monkey and bear can get there without trouble; only first level." He nodded confidently at them, turned around, and ran off.

Both large mammals left behind looked up at Spiral Mountain, back at the corpse and destroyed hut, then at each other.

"We should get to it. There's no point in dragging this scene out any further." D.K nodded in assent, before they both set out towards... towards... "Mumbo didn't tell us where his hut was."

There was silence for a beat, before they looked back at ghost Bottles. He wasn't gesturing anymore.

"Do you know where we're supposed to go?" The mole pointed up at a patch of land covered in tracks from Grunty's getaway vehicle. "We follow the tracks? Okay. Thanks, Bottles."

The bear waved at the spirit, and they were off.

Following the path wasn't in any way hard. There were a few small grunting minions wandering around a crater, along with a basket of eggs. They stopped in front of the crater, and Banjo hopped down to grab the basket. As he walked back up with the blue eggs, Grunty's minions noticed him and stumbled down after him.

"D.K, do you get anything like those back in your home?" The ape shook his head, grunting and motioning with his arms. He spread them far apart. "Bigger, eh? Bigger than you?" The bear shuddered at his companion's nod, before looking back at the minions. They were trying to climb up the gentle incline of the crater.

D.K grunted, nodding his head at the nearby tunnel. Banjo looked away from the minions, putting the eggs in his backpack and beginning to walk towards the hole in the valley's wall as he voiced his agreement. "You're right, we should get moving."

The tracks were parallel to the walls as they entered it and climbed downwards. Small mounds of crushed rock littered the path, but were not sizable until the passage widened into a cavernous chamber. Curiously, the path only led from the hole they had walked out of, to another on the other side.

"Wow, a naturally-formed grotto!" Banjo looked around in wonder. "It's so big. I can't believe the rocks here can support the mountains above them."

"Klungo can't believe bear'sss neck can hold up hisss huge ssstupid face!" Suddenly, a gate slammed down on the path through which they had entered, and another on the exit.

Klungo, Grunty's assistant, hobbled out from behind a mound of rock. His corpulent form was as pleasing to the eye as it had been two years before. "Missstresss Grunty ordered to _kill_ ssstupid bear and ssstupid bird!" He paused as he looked upon a bear and a gorilla. "Where isss the bird?"

D.K grunted. Banjo looked at the ape, who gestured vaguely at the lab assistant's head. He looked back, staring at Klungo's head as well. He took in his bulging left eye. "D.K wants to know if you have pink eye. His nephew got that once, and it's apparently really bad for simians."

The minion in a labcoat blinked curiously at him, while D.K was silent. The bear looked back at his companion, who eyed him strangely. "Oh, that's not what you were trying to say?"

"Doesss bird have pink eye?" Klungo pondered absently.

"No, Kazooie's just on vacation," Banjo supplied helpfully. The large green minion nodded for a moment, before recalling his reason for being there.

"Klungo kill ssstupid bear now and kill ssstupid bird when ssstupid bird returnsss."

"I don't see that happening, Klungo." Banjo sighed, cracking his knuckles. "Getting beaten up isn't so healthy. I think you need a new hobby."

"Klungo'sss job isss to kill bear! More than hobby!" Klungo roared, reaching into his labcoat. With a pop, he finally retrieved a large vial full of a curious green liquid, and shouted "magic potion, make Klungo grow!" before chugging it down.

There was a brief pause as he waited for the potion to work, during which D.K and Banjo shared a look. Then it was over, and Klungo swelled to thrice his normal height, before stomping towards the mammalian duo.

Banjo, taking the initiative, leapt forward. Using his long claws, he latched onto the minion's wide stomach, and started climbing up amidst his panicked flailing. With one arm, he reached back and pulled off his backpack as he climbed onto Klungo's shoulder. Ducking under the arm that swept over him in an attempt to throw him off, the bear reached into the backpack and pulled out the eggs within.

Without Kazooie, there was no way to shoot them. However, they worked just as well when thrown. Quickly, he put his backpack back on, and dropped the mass of shiny blue eggs into the back of the minion's labcoat. As he jumped off his perch, they exploded, bending the supersized Klungo backwards before he collapsed.

D.K caught the falling bear, and placed him down on the ground. "Thanks, D.K," Banjo said, before looking at the fallen minion. "What about you run off, and I won't tell anyone about what just happened?"

Klungo, beaten, started shrinking until he returned to his normal size. He moaned in agony, before pushing himself up. He limped towards the exit as the gates disappeared up into the rocks once more, screaming. "Wahh! Nasty bear beat poor Klungo!" He cried, stumbling down an incline into the light at the end of the tunnel. "Missstresss! Klungo failed in Klungo'sss tasssk! Pleassse beat failure Klungo with broomssstick!"

D.K looked after him for a moment, eyes wide, before staring back at Banjo. He grunted in confusion.

"We'll be seeing him again." Banjo grimaced, before setting off towards the exit. "Come on, D.K."

The two old college buddies were blinded by the sunlight as they strolled out of the tunnel, but within moments had adjusted.

Laid out before them was the Jinjo Village, crisscrossed by tracks. As they neared, they noticed a house had been crushed at the outskirts of the town, the cause of the demolition apparent in the tracks running right through the wrecked home.

D.K grunted, pointing at a set of tracks by the house, which led from the tunnel they had just exited from to a collapsed entrance.

"Well, no way to follow them now. What should we do?" Banjo frowned, scratching his head.

D.K pointed up at the hill, where another set of tracks ran. Beyond the crest they could both see a tall, opulent castle.

"Well, I guess that's a good place as any to start. And another set of tracks!" They began to stroll that way, Banjo picking up baskets of eggs along the way, until they notices something metallic amidst the eggs.

As they neared it, it opened, and a small brown animal with a hat peeked out. Noting the ape and bear staring at it, it hopped up to ground level, glaring at them over his sunglasses. "Ten-hut!"

Neither Banjo nor D.K moved. The mole in military uniform shifted uncomfortably. "I'm Jamjars!"

"Jamjars? Aren't you Bottles' brother?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I know what's been going on, and I can help more than my useless brother ever did. He taught you the basics, but I'll show you and the bird what real moves are!" He paused for a beat. "Where's Kazooie?"

"She's on vacation," Banjo supplied, for the second time in the day.

"So... she's not around at all." At the bear's shaking head, he opened then closed his mouth. "That's not good."

"It isn't?"

"No... look, this is one of my bunkers. It'll take you right to wherever there's any other of these bunkers, should you find more." The small mole looked down at the ground. "I have another one in the Aztec Mountain. It's just down the hill from Mumbo's hut. Meet me there. I need to think on this."

The mole hopped back into the bunker, but before it could close, Banjo called out. "Wait! Why can't we just go there using the bunkers now? I mean, they're there already. It's not like we need to fulfill something to use them."

Jamjars stammered for a moment, before ducking down and disappearing from sight. The bunker closed over him.

D.K and Banjo shared a look, before going back to trekking to the palace. It reeked of opulence, even more so when they neared it. Banjo could almost hear an orchestra playing something majestic in the background as they followed the path to the entrance. As they entered it, he felt it reach a crescendo.

"Yo! Wassup?" The King of Jinjos sat in his throne, a pet of some sort hanging out by his side. "I'm King Jingaling, king of all things Jinjo and ruler of this village."

Banjo blinked up at the enormous king, and took care to respond slowly. "Your kingdom seems a bit empty."

The king looked to the side, grunting. "My people were scared away by those witches and their giant machine. I kinda like the quiet, but I need to get them all back for the kickball tournament next week."

D.K scratched his head, groaning in confusion. "You only want your people back so you can play kickball?" Banjo translated, looking back at D.K to see if he was right. Receiving a nod, he continued. "You're not being a very good king, King Dingaling."

Jingaling sighed. "Jingaling. And it's very important that they do come back- I adore my kingdom, but the kickball tournament is a very old tradition amongst us. We've been rivals with the moles for a long time, and if I'm missing all of my Jinjos it isn't gonna go over too well."

"The moles? They're only one family..."

"They're a very old family. The Mole clan has had an expansive history that it's shared with the Jinjo Kingdom."

Banjo blinked, before opening his mouth in a suitably-impressed expression.

"Right, so look. Here's the slice. You're Banjo, the hero who kicked old Grunty's bum a few years back. In the process, you rescued a lot of my Jinjos, and I'm sure you're going out for that witch again. So. Rescue my Jinjos and King Jingaling will be thankful and we're all gonna heap rewards onto you. Dig? Here's some upfront." He dug into his robes, and eventually pulled out a large golden jigsaw piece. He threw it at them.

Banjo caught it, and looked at it. "This seems familiar..."

"Look, money, that's a Jiggy. Take it and go see Master Jiggywiggy in his temple. The way there is through the moles' house. So get to the temple, present the Jiggy to Jiggywiggy, and he'll tell you where to go from there. Aight? Now go." He waved them off.

As they left, a blue beam sliced through the skies and impacted the top of Jingaling's residence. In front of their eyes, the opulent gold and marble darkened around where the beam hit, and the blackness spread down to the foundations of the building. A small radius around it was blackened as well, but more slowly, until the darkness stopped.

Banjo, only a few meters from the threshold, stared down at the circle of dead grass surrounding the palace. "Well, we're in luck. We just made it out of the range. If he'd talked anymore, we'd probably have been caught in the beam." He looked at D.K, who was picking at the ground.

The ape slammed his fist into it, eliciting a sound akin to a rock being punched. Banjo followed his example, rapping his claws into the deadened ground. "It's... hard as stone. It's probably Grunty's work, don't you think?"

D.K shrugged. "Right. You don't know her. Well, we should get going. To Jiggywiggy?" The gorilla nodded.

-I-

As they got deeper into the cave that housed Bottles' family, D.K started looking increasingly befuddled by the fact that it was not getting darker, until the shining beacon that was the large home that was embedded in the bedrock came into sight. The ape pointed at the two windows in question as they neared, to which Banjo could only shrug.

"Houses do always look nicer with windows," he attempted as he knocked on the door. It came open within a few moments, and a frazzled Mrs. Bottles ushered them in.

"Banjo! There you are. My husband went out to your home to talk about something really important, he told me. Is everything all right?" The bear blinked, eying the squat female mole.

"Uh, well, Bottles had to stay in over the night, because he didn't feel so good." He paused, looking at his gorilla companion for help. The gorilla shrugged. "He... got the message to us. Don't worry, Mrs. B, we got it just fine."

"Oh, is that why Kazooie isn't here? She's taking care of my husband? Oh, that poor dear. He complains so much when he's feeling down, always aski-"

Banjo stopped her before she could continue rambling. "No, no, Bottles is totally out of it; Kazooie doesn't need to be there for him, since he's not awake."

Mrs. Bottles gasped. "Oh no! What happened to him?"

The bear's eyes widened in panic as he backed away from the worried spouse. "Eh, well, you see..." he stuttered, looking around. He focused on D.K, who eyes him curiously at the triumphant look Banjo suddenly got. "Bottles stumbled around a bit in the rain, and got mud all over himself. So when he got into our home, he stumbled and got mud on D.K here's... tie."

The mole turned to stare at the ape, but Banjo grabbed her by the shoulders and held her still as he continued, inconspicuously motioning at D.K. The gorilla, getting the hint, reached down and began smudging some dirt on his red and yellow tie.

"Don't hold it against him, but D.K is very protective of his tie. It was a present from his grandfather before he died, and it's the only thing that allows for him to go shopping. So, D.K got a bit angry, because Bottles got some mud on his tie." At this he allowed her to turn, letting Mrs. Bottles see the bemused gorilla face and earth-stained tie.

"So you're saying D.K beat up my husband for getting him dirty?" Banjo made to respond with something to defend his companion, but she kept going. "Good! Bottles is always so careless about getting dirt into the house. I wish I could do that to him every time he trailed dirt into the house."

The bear turned to eye her uncomfortably, while D.K peered down at the earthen floor.

"Yes. So he's not coming to be for some time."

The housewife nodded in understanding. "Alright, at least I know where he is. Make sure to bring him back in time for dinner!"

With that, she turned away to walk to the kitchen.

D.K peered at his companion in question. "What? This is the only place we haven't checked out yet. There's probably some tunnel leading to Jiggywiggy somewhere in Bottles' house. Otherwise, we could try to get some answers out of Jingaling. If he's still there. If he's a pile of ash we can probably still get something out of him."

The gorilla grunted. "Well, only _some_ ash piles can speak, D.K. You're amazing in many ways. You don't have to speak to be an upstanding member of society." Banjo patted his companion's shoulder consolingly. "But come on, now. We have to continue with our quest."

Each room was only a few meters away from the dining room that also served as a foyer for the house. The two strolled into a teenaged mole's room, whose occupant was engaged in a spirited exploration of his maturity. Speccy focused on the poster on his wall, which depicted a long-legged human woman. The two stared into the room for a moment, before noticing the hole in the back of it; light shone through it.

Silently making their way through, and taking care to duck under the mole's sight as they passed between him and the poster, the two managed to crawl into the tunnel. It was longer than the light shining down suggested, but soon enough they came out into a heavily-wooded area. Ahead stood a sheer cliff face, broken by a ledge leading into a broken bridge and a wide staircase and gate.

Beside the cliff was an enormous, awe-inspiring temple shining like a gem in the morning light. The front wall was covered in large indentations that were exactly like the Jiggy that King Jingaling had handed them. Banjo, however, didn't seem to notice it; he only had eyes for the broken bridge.

"That's the path to the next world," he noted, eyes veering to the left slowly. "There's a ledge, so I guess we'll have to learn to use those in the first world, and..." The gate. "How do we get in there?"

D.K palmed his face as he followed the bear towards the small gate in the cliff, and idly stood by as the bear walked to the podium to the side of the sealed-off entrance and plucked the Jiggy out of his backpack. "Mmm, there's no portrait like in Grunty's fortress, so maybe I have to fit it into this thing..."

The ape looked away as loud banging sounds filled the air, bemoaning his inability to speak. Eventually, he growled and grabbed the Jiggy from his bear companion's hand and smacked him in the snout with it.

Bear and gorilla stared at each other for a moment, before D.K pointed towards the extravagant golden structure. "Oh. Good catch, D.K."

Shaking his head, the ape started towards Jiggywiggy's Temple. Banjo, hopping down the side of the flight of stairs, hastily followed the Jiggy-wielding gorilla. In the middle of the way, they came across another of Jarjars' bunkers.

It came open with the familiar whirring sound, and the military mole popped out of it. "Ten-hut!"

The response to his salute was silent, but he continued. "This is my second bunker. You can use it to get between here and the Jinjo Village without trouble."

"Oh, that'll be helpful. We don't have to trample through Bottles' house to get back and forth."

Jarjars crossed his arms with a serious expression. "That tunnel helps in getting between the village and the temple quickly, but little Speccy must surely be inconvenienced by it being there."

Banjo was quiet for a moment, before shaking his head uneasily. "No, no, he seemed pretty comfortable."

D.K threw his arms up with a groan, before turning towards the Temple. "Your friend has the right idea. You should get to your quest. By the way, he's got a bit of a smudge on his tie, if neither of you noticed."

Banjo called after the small mole before he could hop into his bunker. "Wait, can't you just let us use the bunkers to get to the next area without all this hassle?"

His request went unheeded as Jarjars disappeared into the metal opening. The bear sighed, before moving to follow his simian companion up the stairs that led to the temple. At the top of the flight stood a robed figure with a Jiggy-shaped head.

As Banjo caught up, the Jiggy-faced creature seemed uncomfortable as D.K compared it to the Jiggy in his hand.

"Hello!" It cried in relief as the bear came up to it. "I am one of Master Jiggywiggy's disciples. He has been expecting you." Its eyes moved slightly towards the Jiggy next to its face. "You obviously have the offering Jiggywiggy expects, so please go inside."

The area of the wall beside him shifted, and then started moving upwards. The disciple waved towards the newly-opened entryway, which led into a large room that exuded opulence.

Red banners covered golden walls on every side, and in the stood an enormous, blue, glowing Jiggy. Slowly, a figure rose behind it, looking like the disciple outside except for the enormous bejewled robe that it wore.

"Banjo the bear, Donkey Kong the gorilla. I am Master Jiggywiggy." It opened its wide eyes, and stared down the duo of mammals. "I have been expecting you."

"Your disciple told us, yeah," the bear noted.

"I know what you seek. It is the power that the Crystal Jiggy provides," it went on, ignoring Banjo's interruption. The two animals standing opposite him looked at each other with curiosity, before turning back to Jiggywiggy. The robed Jiggy-faced creature slowly trod up to a podium behind the Jiggy. "I... can offer that power. To get you where you need to go."

"Oh, thank you?" Banjo was unsure.

"Now, don't doubt the Crystal Jiggy's Power. The playing field has been changed. There is no need for cute new gameplay mechanics. Just put your Jiggy back in the backpack, and wait for the ritual to finish." As D.K slowly reached over and replaced the Jiggy in his companion's bag, Jiggywiggy began chanting.

Neither understood what he was shouting to the heavens, but they responded. A shining beacon of light shone through the open ceiling, and lit up the Crystal Jiggy. Suddenly, it began emitting a loud rumbling sound, before a beam exploded from it.

Banjo and D.K threw themselves to the floor as it rocketed high into the sky, before a nearby explosion sounded through the temple.

"It is done. Go on, to the next leg of your quest."

"Uh, thank you, Jiggywiggy." Banjo stood shakily, staring at the Crystal Jiggy.

"Don't, Banjo the bear. It is just my job." It interrupted the bear's next motion as well. "And there is no need for farewells. You will return on the next chapters of your adventure. Now, begone." The high priest turned around with a flourish, waving back at them.

As Banjo and D.K left, the disciple helpfully pointed out the gate Banjo had tried to enter before. The gate itself was spread throughout the woodland, and so they imagined the entryway was open.

"You think that's where Mumbo wanted us to meet him?" The ape stared at his friend for a moment in silence. "Of course it was. It always is," Banjo sighed.

**Here's something different. From my recalcitrant beta, Russell, and I: Barrel of Monkeys. A Banjo-Tooie/Donkey Kong crossover. **


End file.
